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"Dear Time..."

 Friday, September 30, 2011

"An empty frame...in which the picture is always changing makes a statement about how time is always passing... It doesn't really stop.. even in a single image... It just feels that way.."

Dear Time...

Where have you gone...September is gone and it is three months till Christmas...and then a whole new year starts all over again...I feel as though you are passng me by..and I am running to catch up...the days are turning into weeks..weeks into months...and months into years...

Once again, Summer has come and gone...and the seasons are changing..the leaves are starting to turn a beautiful array of colors..we exchange our brightly colored decor for pumpkins and candy corn... As I sat in bed last night..I couldnt help but to think... it was only yesterday my baby boy was running around the house  exclaiming he was a "Big boy" and going to start Kindergarden..and then I blinked my eyes and he was entering his last year of Elementary School...it feels as though I just tryed on my wedding dress to marry my  best friend...and we just had our 6 year anniversary...we  celebrated my little brothers 25th birthday last night...25..how did that happen...gone is the little boy who would sit in front of the TV and watch back to back episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...he is now a adult making his own way into the world...I can close my eyes and I am right back in my grandmother's kitchen..I can inhale and smell the glorious scents of her chicken and dumplings...but then I open my eyes and remember..she has been gone for over a year now...As I go outside this weekend to cut back my roses...I want to badly to pick up that phone and call Uncle Gene and ask him exactly how to do it..Its so hard to believe that almost a year has passed since he went home to heaven...last night at my daddy's I started looking around at my family.. there was a bit more gray in my dad's hair..though you certainly can't tell it from his spirit..one by one I looked around at all the faces that I once played with as a child..they now have children of there own that are running around and playing with my child...

How did so much time pass without me even realizing it? You view the world with eyes that never really see the change until it's almost to late..When your a child you look forward to Christmas all year long..and it just seems like it won't come quickly enough...Christmas eve comes and you lie awake in bed at the anticipation of Santa Clause coming...you squirm in excitement..wating for the moment to get out of bed so you can run into the living room...you have waited all year long for this day...  As you grow older you can't wait to turn 16 to get your drivers license...and it seems as if that day will never come...and then that faithful hour comes that the Poiceman that gave you your drivers test says you passed....the next future goal is 18..graduation day...then college...a family...We are forever looking at the future..to the next day..the next year...Our whole life ..we have wanted time to pass so quickly..we are constantly planning for the future...and then when you do get to that older age..we all just want it slow down...

Life events are passing right before my eyes...I feel like I am in a car... speeding down the interstate at 85 miles per hour..looking out the window at lifes events...I just want to stop and savor the moments...to take it all in..to play in the yard a little bit more with Khristian...to enjoy my wedding reception more instead of worrying so much...to sit down with my grandmother and talk with her a bit more...to get Gene to teach me all he knows about roses...to really get to know my parents better...and so..so many other things...I guess I am feeling a bit nostalgic today...we say things like "I can't wait until today is over so I can enjoy my weekend..please let time hurry up..." ..we are forever wishing time away...because we can't wait to get to the next event our life...Why? Once time is gone..we can't get it back...we will all wake up one in our old age and wish that we had savored each and every minute of our day..every moment..everyconversation...every event in our life...

I often times say that there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish all I need...but what I have come to realize is..there is 24 hours in a day..there is enough time for everything that matter's...God gives us enough time..we just have to prioritize our life..find out what's important versus whats not...We are all getting older...our children are getting older...our family is getting older...Let's all slow down a bit...enjoy life..enjoy time...

Today, I would like to ask you one favor time...Please slow down...let me catch up...because I would hate to wake up one day and realize that I wished my life away..one day at a time...


Love yours truly,
Jess...

1 comments:

Kayleigh September 30, 2011 at 12:29 PM  

I was actually just thinking about this the other day. I feel my life has wasted away with things i wish i could have done, but there is still time and i am still young. Hopefully ill be able to make time to do the things i want to before i realize too much time has gone by.

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