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"Invisible threads..."

 Sunday, October 1, 2017

I've  been thinking a lot about heart strings, invisible threads, and the ways in which people enter your story for a page or a chapter and change the entire ending. Regardless of whether people come into your life by fate or chance, I've always been the kind of person that believes our interactions result in a connection. and so by the end of our lives, we could have an infinite amount of threads linked to other people’s lives, memories, and stories. and although it’s been grudgingly so, i’ve come to accept that not all people are here to stay; i’ve learned that the lesson and impact they bring often requires an ending.
I've been thinking about all of the people that come into our lives for different lengths of stay. I like the idea of an invisible thread that links you to all of the people who shape who you become in this life. Perhaps it is a ball of tangled string- sometimes tied complicatedly in knots and sometimes loosely bound together- or an uncountable amount of strings that run parallel to one another. but mostly, i just like the idea of an invisible thread that links one person to another; like somehow, our individual life stories are now part of each other’s. And so i’ve been thinking about the people I am bound to. The thread that taught me not to attach my identity to another person.  The thread from high school that formed from an unlikely friendship between a group of teenagers in a church annex. The threads of kindness from people like the man who prayed with me in the middle of Winn Dixie or the gentlemen who left me $100.00 dollar tips when I waitressed at the BBQ house because they knew I was a single teenage mom. A thread that was a lesson in heartache from the boy who taught me about the strength it requires to put yourself back together.  The thread to the teacher who didn't give up on you....who knew you were capable of more than you thought. The thread to your father- the first person to show me what it meant to truly believe in myself. The thread to my mom....while our relationship may lack in a lot of areas....Ive learned from that. The thread to Gina....the person who taught me to be the mother I am. She taught me how to love another person more than I love myself. So many people run through my head....years upon years of invisible threads. Tied to one person....that person never knowing how much of an impact they have on your life. 
So maybe some people don’t come into your life to stay forever.  Maybe we will each go off and do a million separate things and maybe our life paths will never cross again, but the thing about threads is that you can’t undo what has already been formed.  I believe that people stay long enough- even if only for a moment- to impact your existence and to help write out your story. Like the strangers in the check-out line that teach you about patience or the ordinary people who do extraordinary things in the corner of their world that teach you about humility. The child in the classroom with an endless amount of questions that reminds you to wonder. The people you see on the street or wandering through the town that teach you about strength and acceptance.  And if life has taught me anything, it’s that some people’s stay will never be long enough. I don’t have the answer for that, I don’t know why it is that they sometimes leave before we are ready. All I know is that maybe you don’t get to decide how they leave, but you can choose which parts of them stay with you....and so on those days I remember how important it is to think about the people who have impacted us- both positively and negatively- and to be grateful for those lessons, those threads. We can only hope to experience this life in it’s entirety and so we take in the good and the bad and every little thing in between. Love intertwined with heartache.  Loss accompanied by strength, hope, and growth.  A million failed attempts and one moment of success. Endings that become beginnings. the people that teach you about self-discipline, motivation, and perseverance. A million words and one set of ears that will listen....and when you think about all of the threads that comprise the person that you are, think about the ways in which you have impacted the people around you. What lessons have you taught? What message did you send? And are your threads ones of love and kindness?
I can only hope that my thread to you has impacted you in a positive way. 
 What I know about invisible threads is that if you give people the chance, they will surprise you.  Connections are formed when you put your phone down and  lift your head up. When you offer a smile or change someone’s day. When you look someone in the eye on the elevator or really listen to what people have to say.  They are formed when you realize that at every given moment, your life is being changed by the people around you.  Invisible threads link us to unsuspecting people in the most beautiful of ways. You may not get to choose who comes into your life, when they leave, or what lesson they bring, but you do have a say in the way you link yourself to other people in this world.
 And with all of these words, I guess i’m trying to say that i’ve been thinking about how so many parts of my life are not mine alone-  and i’m comforted by the idea that so many parts of our lives are experienced together.
 And so this is for every person whom I have attached a thread to and to thank you for letting me be a part of your growth.....and for ultimately being a part of mine. 
I like where our stories meet.

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