"Love is the small things..."

"What was love, really? Flowers.. chocolate.. and poetry? Or was it something else? Was it being able to finish someone's jokes? Was it having absolute faith that someone was there at your back? Was it knowing someone so well that they instantly understood why you did the things you did and shared those same beliefs?”




We, as human beings, tend to take things for granted alot in our fast paced world...with everything at our fingertips we rarely have time to miss anything...If we want to stop at our favorite coffee place and grab a latte..then we stop..if we want a new dress at the little overpriced boutique in town...we go buy it...if we want to talk to our best friend or husband.. we pick up our cell phone and call (or text) them...if we want to go and see our parents just to say hello...we stop by...and that nice new pair of Jessica Simpson heels that I want...well I go buy them...and the list can go on...We over look the small things in this life that make it so grand...that make us smile for no reason...that make us happy whether we realize it or not...we dont ever stop to think about what would happen if we couldnt just snap our fingers and have everything at our fingertips...I know I am completly guilty of this...and this last couple weeks have brought me back down to earth...

Travis and I have a routine..and to many people it doesnt sound like much..but to us..it's everything...Every morning before Travis leaves the house he comes in the bedroom and kisses me on the forehead to wake me up...I crane my neck up at him and kiss him back (he tells me I look like a duck) and we snuggle for a few minutes (Most of the time, I try to persuade him to lay back down with me) and he tells me he loves me and we kiss one more time before he leaves...then around 8-ish he calls to say Good Morning and to have a good day...we talk for maybe 3 or 4 minutes and then we hang up....I call him at 12 when I take my lunch hour and we talk about our mornings...vent or laugh at things that have happened during our morning....and then he calls me everyday without fail at 4:30 on the dot when he gets off work to see what the plan for the afternoon is..whether he is picking Khristian up or am I...Is he going to meet me at the gym or go home...he tells me a little about his afternoon and I tell him a little about mine...and every phone call we end with "I love you"...

Well, these last few weeks he has had to work late hours at work and where he is located his phone has no service...so that means when he leaves the house at 5 in the morning..in my sleepy haze that is the last time I see or talk to him until around 7 or possibly 8 at night (Depending on whether Khristian has football that night)..I didn't realize how much I would miss our phone calls to each other until they were gone...I find myself during the day wondering what he is doing..or how his morning went...and if something funny happens at work or Khristian does something silly and I want to tell him..I can't just pick up the phone to call him unless I want to hear his voicemail...I got so accustomed to our "routine" that I never really stopped to think how much these little phone calls everyday meant to me...they are just something we do without even thinking much about it...

I guess the saying is true..Absense makes the heart grow fonder...these past few weeks without seeing Travis as much nor talking to him..has made me really appreciate the time that I do get with him...and this morning when he called to tell me "Good Morning"...I thought to myself how much I truly do love him..You know, the bible tells you what love is supposed to be..." Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres....Love never fails." There is alot of truth to that verse...and we should all abide by it...but there is alot about love that that verse leaves out...

Here is what it doesnt say...love is fun...it is all consuming...and once you get wrapped up in it..you should never let it go...love is cleaning the kitchen without being asked and sticking the pot of spagetti in the refrigerator while it is still in the pot...love is playfully calling each other names to annoy one another...love is doing abs at the gym instead of doing what you had orginally planned just so you can spend that extra 30 minutes with each other...Love is listening to me vent on and on about things that doesnt amount to a hill of beans in the end..and when I am done...you say something stupid to make me smile...love is spending your last 15 dollars on a shirt that you know the other has wanted for a while but just wouldnt go get...Love is going to work at 5 in the morning and getting off at 6:30 PM and instantly going to football to help coach your son's football team and not getting home till after 8...and love is never taking for granted the small things that make a great marriage work...you have to appreciate one another...and the small things...

I learned a new lesson in love last night ...As Travis and I were laying in bed I was being pretty quiet...which is usually uncommon for me as I love to talk his ear off right before we go to sleep...he asked me what I was being quiet and wanted to know what was going on inside my head...and I told him that he didnt want to know..I was afraid he would take it the wrong way...He told me to tell him..that he promised he wouldnt...One of my old fears came back to haunt me...As most of you know, we are trying to have a baby...I had this overwheming fear of being abandoned...the old feeling of anxiety kicked in and I felt my chest tightening..my mind tryed to rationalize with my body...It was as if they were almost at war with each other...In my heart I know Travis would never do that to me...but in the back of my mind..that nagging thought just won't forever go away...Why? That man has stood by my side since Khristian was 1 and half..he accepted all my baggage..he accepted my life...and he wanted to be a part of it...so why all the sudden am I having this thought...I told him all this..afraid that he might think I was doubting him in some way...he took my hand and made me look at him...these were his words..."I don't take this wrong because I know what you have been through..I am not leaving..I never will"  in true Travis fashion he also added "The only way I am leaving is if I am being carried out by six"...

Our marriage is not perfect..but it works for us...I learned that love can be so many different things..but in the end..love is comfortable...love is safe...love is the small things... =)