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 Thursday, January 13, 2011

"It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. " ~Johann Schiller



I have recently started redoing my living room..you know, the basics...painting, putting new things on the walls, new pillows on the couch, rearranging different things...I have started pulling all kinds of pictures out of storage, after all, these pictures tell the details of our life, the memories, the times that we will always remember due to us taking a moment to take a snapshot of a very important time in our life. You see, I dont't want my living room to look like one out of a magazine, generic if you will, I want it to tell a story..I want you to be able to look around my living room and see my life..our special moments...and smile...


I had the best time going through some of these pictures...Khristian's first tooth, his first haircut, first day of Kindergarden, the first time Travis took him fishing, Our first Christmas as a family in our first house, first Halloween...and I could go on and on...As I looked through these pictures, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and just the feeling that I was blessed with something special..or rather someone special...my husband. I talk about Khristian all the time and how lucky I am to be his mom...I am just as lucky to have my husband. He truly is a very special person...I believe that God sent him to us when we needed him the most...

Travis, Khristian and I had sort of a rough couple weeks in December and I'm sure there will be many more moments to come through out Khristian's life..but we hit it head on as a "Family"...We had to tell Khristian Travis was not his Biological father..and believe me when I tell you it was the most gut wrenching thing I have ever had to do in my life...you know, when your young and your making decisions, you don't ever think that one day your mistakes will come back and hurt the person that you love most in this world. I hated watching my baby cry and hurt over something that he had no control over...he didn't deserve to be hurt. He asked about his biological father and we let him know that he hasnt seen Khristian since his first birthday and that he just wasnt ready to be a father at that time..It was a long couple hour's as Khristian had a ton of questions and I answered them as honestly as I could. My heart stopped when Travis turned to Khristian and asked "Do you feel any differently about me now?" to which Khristian responded "No..your my daddy, your the ones that has always been there for me and nothing is going to change that.."

Several months before Khristian turned 3, Travis and I started dating...He loved both of us and he knew that we were a package deal...This man has in every meaning of the word become Khristian's "daddy"...He goes to every football and baseball practice..he helps coach ever year...he watches wrestling with Khristian every Monday night...he plays endless amounts of video games with him...he helps him with his homework...he sat there and held his hand (even though he cant stand the sight of anyone elses blood) when he got 11 stitches in his leg...he came home early on our honeymoon because I missed Khristian so much...I can remember the very first time Khristian asked Travis if he could call him Daddy and Travis looked at him and said "Son, You can call me anything you want to.." but it was the look on Travis's face that I will always remember...it was a look of pride. Travis is not a cryer but I seem to remember seeing him get a little teary eyed that day....Khristian has called him daddy every since...

It's not the blood line that makes a Family and it's certainly not what makes a parent... It's the being there..good or bad..and NEVER giving up on each other...it's sharing moments together, crying tears together, holding hands and praying together, understanding one another...It's being a circle that can't ever be broken...and never abandoning one another...

Sometimes we dont understand the plan that God has layed out for out life and we can't see the big picture...God see's the big picture and I am ever so thankful that he added Travis into our's....












2 comments:

Rachael January 13, 2011 at 4:49 PM  

Wow, what a wonderful and touching story. You are such an inspiration to others and I pray that God continues to bless you, Travis and Khristian in a mighty and special way.

Rachael Railey

Jessica January 20, 2011 at 8:33 AM  

Thank you Ms. Rachael..That really means alot! :)

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