"Staying close..."

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."
~Erma Bombeck

It's hard to put into words and convey what I really want to say here..so I am going to try and I hope that you can feel what I am trying to say...

As a child growing up, I don't have a good recollection of my family ever being that close...I mean, yeah we got together at all the important holidays but other than that you only saw them when someone died. My mom and dad worked a good bit back then, as times were hard with 3 kids, and neither one of them having a high school diploma. They both worked hard to provide for us kids..so I dont fault them for that at all. I actually think that's where I got my value of hard work. My brother and sister were older than I was and was very involved in school activities and didnt have much time to play with there "annoying" little sister. There was a couple of years there that I can actually remember my older brother, sister, and I being somewhat close...but the year that I turned 7 my parents divorced...things were turned upside down for me because not only did I not know what "Divorce" meant but my "Family" was now divided.

Fast forward a couple of years, with the addition of a step-mom and step-dad (both who have taught me so much and I love dearly) and a annoying (love you adam) little step-brother that had always been the only child, I had learned to adapt to this new "family" that had been given to me. Yet, still we were not close..my older brother had moved in with my dad 30 minutes away..my older sister had moved out as well..and so there was just me. My younger step-brother and I couldnt stand each other for the longest time..as I think back on it now I think it was because we were more alike than what we originally thought.

As a result of this, my older siblings and I are not close even now...both live in the same city as I and we rarely talk...We have nothing in common...and to be quite honest, both of them are perfect strangers to me. I don't know there favorite food, color, what music taste they have, I dont even know if they are allergic to anything. Surprisingly enough, my little brother (I lost the step a long long time ago) and I are extremly close...not sure if it was the fact that we lived together after I had Khristian, we fought all the time, we screamed how much we hated each other, and yes we even called our parents to tattle on each other (alot). Now...we talk everyday and he is one of my best friends...

I did not "grow up" in a sense with my older brother and sister...they were older than I was and although I can recall memories of us doing things as kids...I don't have alot...(and lets be honest, who actually remembers alot before the age of 5?) ...and really by the time that I was starting to grow up a little..they were gone...could this be the reason we are not close? I love both of my parents, but I have to be honest here and say that "staying close" was not really pushed in our household much..

The fighting, picking, crying for each other when they get spanked, sneaking off and getting drunk, having a secret hiding place that your not even supposed to be go in because it looks dangerous, covering for each other, and having common interests, being closer in age, feeling a certain level of trust...These are the things that make me and my little brother "Close"..

Your parents always say "Stay close with your brothers and sisters because when we are dead and gone, they are all you have"... Here is my take, (and I mean no offense, I have a tendency to say what others are thinking but are afraid to say) I love all my brothers and sisters...I would do anything in the world for them...and if It came down to it, I would defend them if need be...but...I dont think that necessarily means you have to be "Close" with them...We all live in different worlds, with different interests, and we dont always agree on alot of things..its ok that we dont talk on the phone but once a month..and its even ok that I don't know what many of there interests are...

Close or not...I think the only thing that matter's is the fact that we know that if we need anything...the other one is only a phone call away...