Goals

I remember almost 4 years ago when something inside me changed and I was ready for a change. After spending a whole entire weekend crying my eyes out to poor husband about how I hated the way I looked and how unhappy I was about what I saw in the mirror...he did something that surprised me...he went out and got me a year's membership to the gym, handed me the entrance card and simply said "If your not happy about the way you look, change it." Now ordinarily any other woman would have gotten their feelings hurt or been a little pissed...but oddly I wasn't. Something inside me snapped and I was determined to get the weight off. I started with a simple goal of 20 lbs..when I accomplished that I moved my goal to 40 lbs, and so on...till 2 years later I had hit my over all goal of losing a total of 105 lbs. My point in saying all this is the fact that I set a goal for myself, I worked towards it and I accomplised it. I was so proud of myself for doing and going after something that I wanted so desperatly. I loved having a goal and working towards it. Everytime I hit and passed a self made goal I grew more and more confident with myself and It made me more determined to hit and pass the next goal. Not only was my outside apperance changing but something within myself was changing to....I will never forget the feeling that I got when I stepped on that scale and it read 135 lbs..I had done it! I did what I set out to do. No words will ever be able to express the pride that I felt that day! I have a reason for expressing all this..just follow along with me if you will...

If you know me and you know me well, then you know that I have a immence fear of growing old. Friday was my 27th birthday and something has been nagging at knawing at me all weekend. While I am scared of the physical attributes of growing older, Such as; Wrinkles, grey hair, arthritis, clammy skin, lose of memory, failing health, etc....I believe that my number 1 fear of getting older is my lose of youth..more so than that...the fact that I may grow older without having done the things that I want to do before my death....Again, I have a reason for telling this...

I'm not sure how many of you out there have done this but when I was 16 I actually started a list of things that I wanted to do before I die....a bucket list per say. Its a handwritten list, Some thing have been added and some things have been marked off. Sadly, not a whole lot of things have been marked off that list as of yet. To be honest, things on it are not world changing or even things that other people would find important. Actually, some of the things would make you smile and tell me how silly they are..but...the things on my list are important to me...they are things that simply make me smile. Things that make me in one word...Happy...

Now to the point of telling you all this: I have set a goal for myself for the year of "27" or I should say I am going to set 10 goals for myself for the year of "27" as I call it. I can kill 3 birds with one stone as the saying goes. I have been missing having a goal for myself...working towards something and I don't like the idea of growing old and never doing the things on my list that I have always wanted to do. So...here's what's going to happen: my next blog will be simple and short...its going to entail 10 goals that I must work towards and accomplish before my next birthday. That gives me 12 months to scratch 10 things off my list...I will feel better about growing older, I will be more accomplised..and I think overall I will feel a better sense of contentment. I have a good feeling about this and to be quite honest...For once, I am excited about growing another year older.

A wise woman that I know once told me "Jess, live each day as if your about to take your last breath..this life is meant to be enjoyed and you have to take the moments and time you have and make them memorable!" Well, she was right...and I intend to do just that!