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"Sweet, perfect Hands..."

 Wednesday, October 2, 2013

“Then suddenly she reached out and took my hand to steady herself.... sometimes we just need someone to hang on to until we find our footing...”

 It seems as though when Bailey was first born, her tiny little hand instantly found mine... Her new little fingers grasped my finger tightly...I wrapped her small fist with my remaining fingers and held on....I can remember thinking to myself “I will always hold your hand....as long as you will let me...I will hold your hand."

Last night, I sat and rocked Bailey in the rocking chair in her room at bedtime...I rarely do this but the times I do...I love it. It is such a quiet, peaceful time. The house was silent...Travis and Khristian were at football practice...the TV was off...it was just me rocking her. As I sat there with her in my arms she reached up and grabbed my finger with her tiny little hand and brought it to her chest....I held her just like this until she fell asleep. I sat there and studied her little face...the curve of her eyes...the tip of her nose...and my eyes settled on her little hands...

My mind wondered to earlier in the evening as I was holding her by her hand and letting her walk around the house...she is learning to walk but is still very shaky and not quite confident enough to let go. It was probably the third trip around the living room when she stopped...looked up at me with her big beautiful blue eyes...smiled...and let go...

 She walked half way across the room before I saw those blonde little curls turn around to make sure I was watching....I urged her to keep going. She clapped and walked about 7 more steps before she lost her balance and fell to the floor. I ran over to her, scooped her up and gave her the biggest hug all while telling her how proud I was of her. In that moment, I was so proud of her...but as I sat there rocking her and staring at those beautiful, precious hands...I realized that this was only the start... there would be many moments in her life that she would turn to me with those same blue eyes, smile and let go...

They'll grasp a pencil as she clumsily but surely learns to write her name... They'll grip handlebars with a mix of joy and horror as her Daddy runs behind her on her bike, almost ready to let go...In the teenage years those hands will wipe away many adolescent tears and slam many doors, but maybe, if I play my cards right, they'll still reach out for mine every now and then...They'll pack her belongings as she leaves home... And they'll open our front door again as she comes back to visit...They'll wear a diamond from a handsome young man, and they'll loosely hold her daddy's tuxedoed arm, eager to reach out for her future at the end of the aisle...Those hands will clench in pain as she experiences childbirth, and they'll tremble in joy when she holds him or her the first time... They'll feel little foreheads, apply band-aids and hold open books.... And then, one night, she'll rock that sweet baby to sleep, and she'll stare in bittersweet wonder...at its sweet perfect little hands...

I slowly removed my hand from hers...placed her in her crib...and prayed. I prayed that whatever those sweet, perfect little hands accomplish in this life...that they're helpful hands... and merciful ones, and I pray they always have many, many other hands to grab onto...and I pray that those hands are often clasped in prayer themselves.

I pray that when my hands are old and weathered...that she will look at them and see a lifetime of love...that these hands will always be there to steady her...until she is ready to let go...

1 comments:

Callean October 2, 2013 at 8:09 PM  

So beautifully written, and so much of it I can relate to, especially the 5th paragraph as I have and will go through all that stuff 3 times... there is just something about little girls and mommy... and the door slamming has already started with Renae lol... Thanks for sharing such a beautiful moment in your life... can't wait to meet that sweet girl in person...

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