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"Gaining Perspective..."

 Thursday, November 17, 2011

"In desperate times, much more than anything else, folks need perspective... For perspective brings calm... Calm leads to clear thinking... Clear thinking yields new ideas.... And ideas produce the bloom...of an answer. Keep your head and heart clear... Perspective can just as easily be lost as it can be found..."

Here lately, I have been thinking alot about perspective...how sometimes you can be so close to a situation...your focusing so much on the small little details that you can't see anything else...you have tunnel vision and its obstructing your entire view...you are blinded to any other view...However, if you just back away from it...give it just a little bit of time..a little bit of breathing room...then come back...you often times, gain a whole new perspective...

Many people have asked me how I gave Khristian his name...Khristian Miguel Andrews...I am hoping that my step-mother doesn't mind me sharing this story with you...but it's such a big part of our story as a whole...it has been on my mind alot lately...

My daddy and step-mom have been married for 18 years...prior to me having Khristian they had tried on multiple occations to have a baby...Gina would get pregnant and several months into the pregnancy she would miscarry..each time was heartbreaking for her and my dad...I am not sure of the logistics but her body just wasn't able to carry a baby to full term...If I am not mistaken I don't think she was even supposed to get pregnant with my younger step-brother...she calls him her miracle baby. The miscarriages went on for years...there was a total of 13 miscarriages... on the 13th one, Gina told my daddy she just couldn't do it anymore...her heart couldnt take anymore...so she make the decision to have her tubes tied...As I type this I have tears in my eyes because I can't imagine having to endure what she went through on so many different levels...

Gina had just recently went through her last miscarriage when I went into labor...I didn't know if I was having a boy or girl..furthermore, I had no clue as to what I wanted to name this child...People were throwing out suggestions left and right...I even had one of those books with thousands of names...but I wanted his name to mean something. I was scanning through the book while people were still suggesting names...when from over in a chair beside my hospital bed Gina spoke up...She said "I like the name Christian...that's what I was going to name my baby if I had another one.." I thought it over..tossed it around and around in my head and I knew that's what I wanted to name my baby...but gave it a little twist and spelled it with a "K" instead of a "C"...Khristian's biological father is half hispanic so my mom suggested giving a little bit of his heritage in his name..that is where "Miguel" came in...I finally had a name...Khristian Miguel Andrews...

After I brought Khristian home Gina was a huge help to me...she taught me how to be a mom...there was so much I didn't know and she took the time to teach me...to guide me...and to help me grow...Khristian was about 1 month old when Gina told me that she truly believed that God knew that Khristian and I were going to need her..that she believed that is why she couldnt have a baby..that she needed to be there for us...I know that at the time of her final miscarriage she didn't understand what God's plan for her was...she was so close to the situation..so heartbroken that she couldnt see why this had happened...but after several months...a little bit of time...and a little bit of healing..she gained a whole new perspective..and she understood what God's plan for her was...

Everyone knows that PawPaw (my daddy) is Golden in my little boy's eye...but there is also a very special bond between Khristian and Gina that most people do not understand...I believe Khristian helped Gina through the heartbreak of that final miscarriage...he was the baby she couldn't have...He helped her gain a whole new perspective...

2 comments:

Laura@Catharsis November 19, 2011 at 8:17 PM  

Perspective can be so hard sometimes. I know that for me, when things don't seem to be going well, I need to step back and take a look at what I do have and at the things other people don't. No matter how difficult a situation can be, taking inventory of your blessings is important.

Sara Louise November 22, 2011 at 7:52 AM  

I think it's really lovely that you named your baby Khristian. The sentiment behind it is beautiful.

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