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"God hear's my prayers..."

 Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I am supposed to be working on a faculty list for work right now...but I find myself sitting right here...typing away..writing...I cant concentrate on anything else...

I had someone close to me make a somewhat negative comment quite recently and it has bothered me every since it was said...I guess its my first real encounter with someone's complete lack of faith in me...and it truly bothers me down to my core...every since I have started on this writing journey I have recieved nothing but completely positive feedback from my family and friends...but still I have tryed to prepare myself for the rejection or doubt that I knew would eventually travel my way...but I just didnt expect it to come from a source so close to my heart...

As I layed in bed last night...I let that doubt creep into my mind and start to spread...doubt is truly like consumes you if you let it...negative thoughts started coming from every which way and I started buying into them...I couldnt help it...If this person that I cared about didnt have faith in could I have faith in myself??

I had a fitfull night of sleep...tossed and turned...woke up just about evey hour on the hour...and that truly makes a night seem that much longer...because in the silence of the night...when all is quiet in the house...there is no laundry that needs to be done...the kitchen is kids to take care husband to talk to...there is just you, the silence, and your poisonous thoughts of self doubt...

I prayed a silent prayer in that complete silence...I told God that I felt torn..that I didnt know what I was doing...and I needed his guidance...Every person wants to feel as though they have a purpose on this earth..a talent that was given to them to use in some sort of fashion...Was this the path that I am supposed to take or was I just fooling myself?

Waking up this eyelids are heart is a bit discouraged...and I can't seem to make that smile on my face stay for very long...I have a book sitting right here on my desk at work that while my computer is booting up I read my Daily Devotional...It usually helps me get my day started right at work...

Here is what today's Devotional said:

Thank you God for answering yet another one of my prayers....


Majid Ali July 15, 2011 at 10:48 AM  
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