"Romanticize your life..."
Sunday, January 15, 2017
I saw a quote posted on social media that has bothered me. It was something to the effect of "There is beauty in the broken....the depressed....blah blah blah....."
Let’s make one thing clear from the start: there is nothing pretty about depression.
Let’s make one thing clear from the start: there is nothing pretty about depression.
Whoever told you that either was lying to you or has no idea what it means to be at constant war with yourself.
There is nothing poetic about feeling broken, exhausted, useless; nothing graceful about it.
No one will see you, hollow and shattered, and think “wow, this is gorgeous”. And when you look at your reflection in the mirror, the person you’ll see staring back at you won’t believe that either.
There is nothing poetic about feeling broken, exhausted, useless; nothing graceful about it.
No one will see you, hollow and shattered, and think “wow, this is gorgeous”. And when you look at your reflection in the mirror, the person you’ll see staring back at you won’t believe that either.
Depression is a monster eating you from the inside. It’s thick dark smoke filling your lungs until you can barely breathe anymore. It’s unfamiliar voices inside your head turning every thought into a gun and leaving you there to wait for them to pull the trigger.
Depression is ugly and it’s scary and it’s lonely.
Depression is ugly and it’s scary and it’s lonely.
Depression is not who you are.
So change your perspective and learn how to romanticize healing instead.
Start small. Begin by celebrating the days you can get out of bed long enough to wash your hair or to take out the trash; the days you feel like answering your phone when it’s ringing and end up talking to that friend you haven’t heard from in a while.
Begin by appreciating the nights you spend sitting on the couch watching bad TV with your kids; the songs you sing at the top of your lungs (very very badly) during long drives, with your windows down and fresh air hitting your face.
Romanticize the third cup of hot coffee of the day; that first sip of the morning. the piece of chocolate you allow yourself to eat before going to bed. Romanticize the kind of love that makes you feel like you belong; the friends who tell those silly jokes that make you laugh until you cry; the days you can stand in front of the mirror with no clothes on and not be ashamed. Those mornings when the world is quiet and you get to see the sunrise witnessing Gods art work first hand.
Start small. Begin by celebrating the days you can get out of bed long enough to wash your hair or to take out the trash; the days you feel like answering your phone when it’s ringing and end up talking to that friend you haven’t heard from in a while.
Begin by appreciating the nights you spend sitting on the couch watching bad TV with your kids; the songs you sing at the top of your lungs (very very badly) during long drives, with your windows down and fresh air hitting your face.
Romanticize the third cup of hot coffee of the day; that first sip of the morning. the piece of chocolate you allow yourself to eat before going to bed. Romanticize the kind of love that makes you feel like you belong; the friends who tell those silly jokes that make you laugh until you cry; the days you can stand in front of the mirror with no clothes on and not be ashamed. Those mornings when the world is quiet and you get to see the sunrise witnessing Gods art work first hand.
Romanticize that little giggle from your 4 year old when you tickle her and she wraps her arms around you so tightly it feels like she will never let go. Those moments your son asks "How was your day, mom?" And he genuinely wants to know.
Slowly, step by step, learn how to let go of everything and everyone that makes you feel like you are not good enough.
Because you are.
And there is hope for you.
You are not your dark days; you are not your scars. You are not broken and you deserve to be alive....to live each day with a smile.....just as much as everyone else.
It will get easier. It will get better.
And healing, oh, healing will look beautiful on you....Romanticize that.
