" Observations..."
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
"Observe the wonders as they occur around you....don't claim them.... Feel the moment moving through and be silent...but always keep them close...”
Have you ever sat outside..in the mall...the park...anywhere really...just sat back and observed things from a distance...observed people from a distance...it is so easy to do with complete strangers...but have you done it with your spouses...your family...your friends...when they don't think you are watching...observation can be a very powerful thing...it can show you insight into a person...reveal to you a characteristic that you may not have otherwise seen if you had not been looking so carefully...or perhaps... you were not even be looking that closely when that certain moment arises... and in that moment, you get a glimpse of someone that you have known for years...and it makes you look at them in a whole new perspective...
In this case, I am talking about my husband...he is not a man of many words...in fact, on our first date I was the one doing all the talking (I know for those of you who know me, that is a shock, right??)...I finally had to tell him to talk to me or he could take me home...he started talking shortly after that. I see so many sides of him that other's often do not get to see...he has such a funny silly side to him...when it is just Khristian, Travis and I at home...he will do anything to make us laugh...whether it be singing stupid made-up songs...calling us by his many crazy nicknames he has...or immitating the dumbest commercial on TV that we just happen to be making fun of at the time....nobody gets to see that side of him but us. I used to say that he didn't have a romantic bone in his body but over the years I have come to change my opinion of that...he just has certain ways of showing it...and to be honest, I don't think I would like it if he was the "generic" form of romantic...I have come to appreciate random phone calls during the day just to ask me how my day is going and to remind me that he loves me...the times when I am cooking supper and he comes up behind me and kisses me on the cheek without saying a word...the times when he goes to the gym to work out with me when he doesnt feel like it...when he gives up the remote control and makes it a point every week to watch Pretty Little Liars and One Tree Hill wth me (Still working on Grey's Anatomy) even though he would rather be watching Family Guy...walking out into the rain just so he can be sure to put my flower pots out so they can get fresh rain water...these things to Travis are romance...just small little things to show me that he loves me...but just when you think you have seen all the many shades of a person...they tend to surprise you...
In the last 7 months I have gotten to see a side to my husband that quite frankly I am proud of...it has made me fall in love with him all over again...I have gotten to watch his face soften as he watched our baby girl on the ultrasound screen move...watch that slow smile spread across his face as we were told we were having a baby girl...watch his eyes transform from pure boredom at a Dr.'s appointment to a form of pure awe as we got to hear the heartbeat....I have gotten to see him laugh as his hand was on my belly and Bailey kicked unexpectantly...every afternoon he asks me if she has been active today...We were on the couch watching TV the other night and he suddenly layed his head on my stomach and started talking to her...he takes his guitar out and sings to her quite often..and he loves the fact that she almost instantly starts kicking when he starts singing...It literally makes my heart smile to watch these things...It is the most amazing feeling in the world to observe and watch these things...
This is not the only new side of him that I have observed in the last 7 months...
Recently, he was contacted and asked to coach Khristian's baseball team...at first, I was a bit hesitant about him accepting the head coaching job...he has always been a assistant coach on Khristian's teams whether it be baseball or football...but he has never been the head coach...I was not worried in the least little bit about his qualifications...as Travis breathes and lives for baseball and football season and knows the game like the back of his hand...I was concerned about his lack of patience...no one will deny the fact that Travis is hard on Khristian in everything he does...particulary sports...Khristian is a natural athlete and has the potential to be great...Travis brings that out in him...it is nothing for Khristian to get hurt on the field and Travis to tell him to suck it up and get back out there...I remember the first time Khristian walked out onto a football field...I was told on the way to the game that no matter what happens...if he gets hurt...I was NOT to run out onto the field and be "That" mom...at the time, I was aggitated at that...I mean, he is my baby...but now I look back on it and realize that it was Travis' way of toughening him up...As it turns out, I had nothing to worry about because Khristian was the one mowing other players down and making the tackles. In this case, I was concerned at how other parents would perceive Travis' tough mentality...if there is one thing that I learned about my husband a long time ago it is that he does not beat around the bush...nor does he sugarcoat things...for anybody...some people are not very apt to that kind of forwardness...especially when it comes to their son or daughter...he has often referred to himself as "not a people" person...
I have been completly taken aback at his transformation this season...not only with Khristian but within himself...I have watched him call a time out in the middle of the game...walk out onto the field and give the pitcher a pep talk...I have watched him take a player aside that got out on homeplate simply because he did not touch the base with his foot and gently tell him what he should do next time that situation arises and then pat him on the back and give him a smile...I have watched as he put out a fire with a angry parent that the situation could have gone in the opposide direction had he not kept his cool...and in the end, the parent was happy....I have even seen a difference in the way he is with Khristian out on the field...Travis has always been a hard one to get a compliment out of...he does not lie to you and tell you that you have done good...when in fact, you have not...but the other night, I watched as our son was on the pitcher's mound...nervous...he had already struck out 2 other players...and the third one he had 2 stikes on with the threat of walking him...all we needed was one more strike to end that inning...Travis called a timeout..walked out onto the field...Khristian told me later that he just knew his daddy was coming to take him out of the game...but instead he said a few words to Khristian...patted him on the shoulder and walked off the field...in that next instant....Khristian threw a strike...you couldnt have beat that smile of his face or his daddy's...
It is in these moments that I love to sit back and observe him from a distance...commit them to memory...and smile...because I know I am watching the kind of man that Khristian will turn out to be...and the kind of person that our daughter will compare every other man that she ever considers dating to...and I couldnt be prouder...we have been together for almost 10 years...and he never ceases to surprise me at the most unexpected times... =)
