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"Moments..."

 Monday, February 13, 2012

This weekend like many other women who love a good love story...I jumped on the bandwagon and went to see the movie "The Vow"... It was a ok enough movie...certainly not at the calibre of "The Notebook", "Dirty Dancing" or "Pretty Women"...but it had it's moments...it made me cry at times (which is not hard to do at this particular part of my pregnancy)...it made me angry at certain times.... and then ultimatly, at the end, it made me happy because I am a sucker for happy endings...but the one thing that I took away from this movie is the theme of "Moments"...there are sudden moments in our life that stick out more so than other...some change our life forever....some are just moments in time that will forever stick out in our memory...no reason...they just do...Our life is filled with tiny little moments...and we store them in our memory so that we can think back on them from time to time...

When Khristian was a baby..he was very sick...in and out of the hospital with severe Asthma and acid reflux...his immune system was very weak due to the asthma...so we had to watch him closely...he could start coughing one hour and then the next hour we were heading to the hospital to be admitted...The Troy hospital and Childrens hospital in Birmingham knew us by name...Sometimes we would have long waits in the waiting room or in the actual room waiting to see the Dr....as most babies do, Khristian would start to get fussy... I found that the only way to get him to calm down most time is to sing "You are my Sunshine" to him... often times, I would sing it so much that the nurses outside the room could hear me and the tune would get stuck in their head... I have no idea why that song seemed to soothe him...that is a memory that will forever stick out my mind...

The other night while cooking supper..my stomach was in knots...it was making all kinds of weird sounds..doing flip flops...I was a little nausous which I haven't been in over a month...subconciously, I started humming a little tune...."You are my sunshine"...I don't know why I started doing it...instinct, maybe....but within 10 minutes my stomach had settled down...not a single sound was coming from my stomach...it finally dawned on me what had just happened...I had just had my first moment with this new little blessing...It also connected my 2 children togther...

The further along in my pregnancy that I get...I am fillled with a anticipation that I have never felt before...I have so many thoughts...when Khristian was born, I was 17..there was so much that I was unable to do with him when he was a baby...partly because I was a single teenage mother trying to make it off the little salary I made as a waitress...and partly because there was so  much I didnt know I was supposed to do...I was so overwhelmed with motherhood that I had little thoughts as to what I should do...I was learning...I am still leaning...everyday is a new lesson...and I know that this new baby will be a whole new lesson on its own...a whole new adventure....I want to put a record player in the babies room and sit there for hours listening to my grandmothers old records like I did when I was younger...I want get out in the yard and teach her/him to make things grow...I want to take more time to appreciate the younger years...I feel that the younger years just flew by so quickly with Khristian that I didn't get to enjoy things the way I should have...I never got to spend 9 months planning a baby nursery...picking out every single detail of the room to make it just perfect....I can't sit here and lie and tell you pregnancy has been so far been a great expierence..it hasnt...it feels like there is medical issue after medical issue...and I have had more ultrasounds in this last 4 months than I can count...but I would not take a single thing back...every day that this little ray of sunshine grows in my stomach I love it more and more...I can press on my lower stomach and tell where its laying...I grab Travis hand and place in on that spot and as he pushes in and feels the baby...I see that light in his eyes...and every pain...every trip to the ER...every time I throw up...is worth it in that moment....

Moments...they change our life forever...they mold us...they make us who we are...good or bad...big or small...they make us..shape us...and conform us to a better person... (=

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