"Helping Hands..."

"Today can be a healthy unusual day for you -- and for others -- if you take time to give someone a smile . . . to express a word of kindness . . . to lend a helping hand to someone in need . . . to write a note of gratitude . . . to give a word of encouragement to someone who is temporarily overcome with problems . . . to share a portion of your material possessions with others.”


I sit here tonight reflecting on my life...reflecting on the people in my life...and how I have come to this point...Truth is, I couldnt have done it without a helping hand..several actually...

I truly dont understand how people do it on there own..I mean, they have no one to fall back on when things are to much to bear..noone to turn to as the pieces of there life crumble at their feet...and noone to offer a helping hand when they are lying on the floor..broken by the world...

Tonight, I am reflecting on a time when I had to fall back on my loved ones..oddly enough, the people that I am speaking of..well to be honest here...at that point in my life I can honestly say that it was not expected..I was surprised and taken aback...Just goes to show, that people can still surprise you...

I remember so vividly the first year of Khristian's life..I think I can honestly say that year was one of the toughest years of my life..Khristian was a very sick little boy...He had 3 different doctors..a ENT specialist and a Asthma specialist at the Childrens Hospital in Birmingham and he had his regular pediatrician (who all the nurses knew us my name because we were in there so much)...I believe we spent more time in the hospital here in Troy than I thought was possible (all the nurses in the ER knew us by name as well) You see, Khristian had severe Asthma, acid reflux, he had 2 sets of tubes and his adnoids taken out...all in this first year...we also underwent multiple tests at childrens Hospital in Birmingham...Leukemia and Cystic Fybrosis...I remember each time the nurses would come to the room to take him back for whatever reason it was at the time..it was heart wrenching...I cryed till there was no tears left to cry... and then I sat there and prayed to God...I remember each time I woke up at night and Khristians onsie that he was wearing was drenched in sweat due to the fact that his temperature was so high..and after giving him 2 breathing treatments back to back..he was still wheezing like a 89 year old man that had smoked all of his life...we drove him to the Emergency Room and I had to hold my screaming baby down as they poked and poked him with needles trying to get a IV in his arm because he was dehydrated..I cryed right along side him and I couldnt hardly take it...I remember night after night, Khristian screaming for hours..and I mean hours...I would rock..bounce..hold...sing...everything you could think of to get him to calm down until there was nothing else for me to but to sit down with him in the chair and rock him as he cryed and I cryed right along side him..begging him to be quiet..begging God to help me help him..to make whatever was ailing him go away...I remember him being in the hsopital and the nurse taking his oxygen level and it being 20 points below what it was supposed to be and him having to be put on oxygen due to the fact that his air way was closing up and he couldnt breathe...

I tell you all this..because during this difficult time I was not alone...My step-mother and my dad was there...every doctors appointment..every hospital stay...every sick and sleepless night...every step of the way these people were there...holding my hand and saying "Jess, Its going to be alright"...Every tear I cryed for my baby boy I know they cryed the same tears..Every sleepless night, they were right there...Khristians first step.his first toothe..his first hair cut...They were there...never leaving our side...

When I had Khristian, I was clueless as to how to care for a baby..I had no clue as to how to make formula.. steralize bottles..clean out a babys nose...I had no idea how to budget money...I had no car..no drivers licence..I had next to nothing...Gina helped me alot with these things...she dilegently taught me how to care for a baby and become a mother...she sat down with me and helped me come up with a monthly budget that I have stuck to for many years and in return it has helped me become a well budgeted person...She taught me where my priorities should lie and that even though life doesnt always work out the way we think it should...its up to us to change these things and make the best out of the situation..Now thats not to say that her and I didnt butt heads a few times..we did..many many times...and there were times that we played the silent game with one another and doors were slammed and eyes were rolled...we have certainly had our moments...but at the end of the day, she has been there...stuck by me..taught me and held my hand...hugged me and dryed my tears when I was waiting on the doctor to come in and tell me whether my baby had Cystic Fybrosis..and when I couldnt stand to see the nurses and doctors poke and prode him anymore..she backed me up and held my hand...when I was so tired I thought my eyes were going to fall out of my head...she said "I got him Jess..go get some rest"...When I was scared and I was down on the floor..looking up at the world through lost eyes...Both of them were there to pick me up and carry me through...

That first year was tough...like I said, It was the toughest year of my life...I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could not have done it without the love and support of Gina and my daddy...They will never know how much there support and love pulled me through... I was lucky...To have people in my life that loved me enough to lend that helping hand...I am absolutly humbled... :)


(This is only my first post on "Helping Hands"..there is more to come.. :)   )